Fixing Fifty Shades Darker By Turning it into Batman

Like many males over Valentines day, I saw Fifty Shades Darker. While the movie itself is a complete bomb of a movie, I had fun with it for one reason, I turned it into Batman. At about the half way mark, I realised that underneath the bad acting, stupid dialog and large amounts of sex, there was a good Batman movie being played out. This is my take on the Fifty Shades Franchise turned into Batman. I am in no way a Batman expert, just a casual comic fan so if any DC experts can make a better fit, go for it.

Fifty Shades of Grey is turned into Dark Shades of Batman:
I have not seen the first Fifty Shades movie, and I never intend to, so this pitch is just going to be a basic run down of what happens, with me attempting to line it up to what happens in the first Fifty Shades.

Billion Bruce Wayne (Christian Grey) continues to have multiple failed relationships with different women. Most of these women put it down to his lack of communication with them and him mysteriously sneaking out during the night. Bruce wants to have a successful relationship, but he wants to keep his dark secret, that he is the  Dark Knight, Batman. At the begining of the movie, Bruce’s old friend, Ras Al Ghul has entered Gotham and plans to take out Batman. Through the movie we see Batman battling it out with the League of Assassins and Ras Al Ghul.

After failing multiple times, he is about to give up hope when he meets Anastasia Steele (I couldn’t think of a better name so I’m running with it). Over the first third of the movie, we see the relationship between Bruce and Anastasia grow. Anastasia meets Bruce’s butler Alfred (Taylor), and his parent figures, Commissioner Gordon and Barbra Gordon (Mr & Mrs Grey).

Heading into the second act, Anastasia has started to fall of Bruce, however still feels like she is being left in the dark about his lack of communication and sneaking off. At this point their relationship has been going for a while and Bruce believes that she is the one, with that, he tells her his secret of him being Batman. Anastasia is shocked and asks how he become the dark knight. Through flash backs, we learn how Bruce left Gotham years ago and was found by the League of Assassins. Once he joined the League, he was trained Tahlia Al Ghul (Elena Lincoln). During their training, Bruce and Talia formed a strong connection. Bruce became Talia’s secret love while being her understudy and following her out on League assignments. After a while together, Talia’s father, Ras Al Ghul discovers the relationship between the two and sentences Bruce to death with Talia dealt the role of executioner. Through some sneaky plan that I haven’t thought through, Talia frees Bruce, instructing him that she will come for him one day.

The third act of the film involves Anastasia trying to convince Bruce to give up as Batman after a near death experience, however Bruce knows he can’t until Ras is stopped. We have a big typical superhero third act where Batman defeats Ras Al Ghul however, decides to remain as Batman, and therefore giving up Anastasia.

Fifty Shades Darker is turned into Darker Shades of Batman:
A few years have past since Bruce has decide to remain Batman and end his relationship with Anastasia, however, he needs her back. Since the last movie, Batman’s duties have been mild and Bruce feels the need for Batman in Gotham is lessening by the day. With this, he reconsidered his role as Batman and decides it is time to put it away and settle down with the girl. He then reconnects with Anastasia where he talk about how Gotham no longer needs a Batman and he want to give it up for her. She agrees to try again as long as he leaves Batman behind. They both agree that the Dark Knight can not suddenly disappear but instead should over time become less involved in the crime fighting.

Bruce and Anastasia go to a Police Charity Ball, where Anastasia seeing Bruce’s parent figures, Commissioner Gordon and Barbra Gordon. Barbra tells Anastasia that she is happy that they are together again because she likes to see Bruce happy. Anastasia then goes to the bathroom, where a mystery woman comes and talks to her. She says that Bruce will never give up as the Dark Knight and that there is no point her trying to save him. Anastasia realises that she is talking to Talia Al Ghul, she then quickly leaves the bathroom and tells Bruce. They then leave the Ball and drive back to Bruce’s mansion. On the way home, Bruce tells Anastasia of how he always feared she would return and it is why he had never made a full relationship commitment until Anastasia. He then goes on by saying that while he fears her, he is thankful because she made him who he is.

Anastasia now is working as an assistant to District Attorney, Harvey Dent. Anastasia likes her comfortable job, however feels as though Dent is being a little too nice to her. Dent is of course interested Anastasia, wants her to be much more than an assistant. Dent then learns that Anastasia has gotten back together with Bruce Wayne. While he has nothing against Bruce personally, he feels that he is receiving less attention from Anastasia now the Bruce is in the picture. Dent therefore tells Anastasia that she is to come with him to a meeting with Keystone City as all assistance would be there. She tells Bruce that she has to go away for the weekend, however Bruce does not see it as a good idea as the weekend is when most crimes happen and if she is not there to control him, he will spend all weekend taking out crime in Gotham. She agrees that he absence would hurt Bruce’s progress is giving up the Batman mantle and she therefore agrees to stay. She tells Dent that the plans are too last minute and she is unable to go due to Bruce making plans for them already. Dent snaps and begins treating her, saying that she needs to take the job more seriously and that Bruce Wayne can’t always get you through life. He corners her into a wall where she is felt threatened, she then attacks him before running away.

Anastasia tells Bruce of what happened and he gets onto the phone to speak to Commissioner Gordon. Gordon then rings back to say that an official complaint has been lodged and Dent has been stepped down of his duties until further notice. Anastasia is relieved however Dent is furious when he finds out that Bruce Wayne had gotten him stepped down.

Throughout the movie, a random girl has been following Anastasia around. One night, Bruce waits down stairs as Anastasia goes to collect some stuff from her apartment. While waiting, Bruce is confronted by Talia. Talia says that she wants revenge on him for not only defeating her father but not waiting for her.

Anastasia enters to find that the random girl is in there with a gun. Anastasia asks who she is and what she wants. The girl replies that she is Selina Kyle (I don’t remember her name in the Fifty Shades movies), and that she wants to take Anastasia out. She reveals that until Anastasia, she had been Bruce’s most successful relationship in Gotham and she has always loved him and wants him back. She then fires a shot at Anastasia but misses. Bruce comes running in and disarms Selina before containing her. He then rings Commissioner Gordon who comes to the apartment with the police and arrest Selina.

Bruce and Anastasia head back to Bruce’s mansion where Bruce tells Anastasia that he has to go to Metropolis for work. He says it is a good idea to for him to get out of Gotham for a weekend and let the police handle the Gotham Crime. Anastasia agrees.

Bruce plans to fly to Metropolis in his own private helicopter. At the airfield where it is kept, Dent has snuck in and is tampering with the helicopter. The next day, Bruce leaves for Metropolis, unknown of the tampering that has happened. As he flies out of Gotham and over the bush land, the helicopter catches on fire and crash lands in the bushes. Bruce awakens to a fiery wreck and sees Dent standing over him. Dent attempts to kill Bruce however Bruce fights back. Bruce always carries an emergence pouch of Batman gadgets and he is forced to use them against Dent. At this point, Dent discovers that Bruce is Batman. Bruce defeats Dent and leaves him in the fiery wreck. Half of Dent’s body suffers burns from the fire. Bruce is found by search crews shortly after and Dent is taken to hospital.

Selina is seen in her jail cell where the lights are cut off, they turn back on and Selina is shocked to see a female figure in her cell. It is Talia Al Ghul. Talia looks at her and says “I here you want to take down the love of Bruce Wayne”.

Bruce returns home to Anastasia where he decides to give up being the Batman for good. He says that he thought he was going to die in that crash and he doesn’t want to risk his life anymore because he now has her. The Gordon family throw a party for Bruce’s safe return. Bruce takes Anastasia away from the people and gives her a necklace with a spike from his Batman suit. He says that even though Batman is gone, he will always be a part of him and he wants him to always be apart of her too. (We need some cheesy shit in our superhero movies)

The final scene is Dent leaving the hospital with half his body burned. As he gets into the back seat of his car, the drive and passenger in the front turn around and it’s Talia and Selina. They propose that helps them take down Bruce Wayne/Batman and he agrees.

Whatever the last Fifty Shades movie is turned The Dark Return of Batman:
The final movie of the trilogy is the return of Batman to Gotham as he is faced against Talia Al Ghul, Catwoman and Two-Face. Anastasia doesn’t agree with Bruce becoming Batman again however she understands that he needs to.

That is as far as I have planned as Fifty Shades Darker was the one I wanted to concentrate on the most.



3 Comments Add yours

  1. This is one of the best things I’ve read on the internet! You need to do more of these! My only hope is that the final film does involve a Bane character to take the ‘Dark dildo’ down!


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